NO PLAYS EXCHANGED. 



'DnHER'5 Edition' 



S 2109 



opy 1 



or Pl7\y:5 



J22 P6 ==? 
900 




POLITICAL PULL. 




COP'^^iGHT, 1889. BY WALTER H. BAKER A, CO- 



I A. W. PINERO'S PLAYS. I 

y|w Uniformly Bound in Stiff Paper Covers, ^?: 

yAw Price, 50 cents each. ^i: 

I * 

fJiS The publication of the plays of this popular author, „iade feasible by the new f.fS 

iiV Copyright Act, under which his valuable stage rigbjs can be fully prote<-tea, Jki 

'13 enables us to otfer to amateur actors a series of nu<jern pieces of the highest Cf3 

/iv class, all of which have met with distinguished success in the leading English jfiv 

'13 and American theatres, and most of which are singiiarly well adapted for ama- CS^ 

iii teur performance. This publication was originall\ intended for the benefit of Jki 

'f* readers only, but the increasing demand for the plays for acting purposes has CI J 

iiV far outrun their merely literary success. With t\e idea of placing this excel- Jfiw 

^13 lent series within the reach of the largest possiblcnumber of amateur clubs, we ^|J 

iiV have obtamed authority to ofiFer them for acting purposes at an author's roy- iiV 

f|> altyof ^ W 

jli\ Ten Dollars for Each Ptrformance. jfk^ 

/AV "^^^^^ ^^^^ ^'^^^ "^* f^PPly to professional perfonnances, for. which terms will be iAW 

CIJi made kuowu on application. wm\ 

(\S '(.^ 

^}l THE AMAZONS. | V'?^^^''t:^:^'^:^lt^;. Ill^^ % 

'13 ~" , acters. Costum g, modern; scenery, an exterior ^f* 

^1^ and an interior, not at all difficult. This adTiirable farce is too well known Ck'g 

"f through its re 'ent i>erformance by the Lyceun^Theatre Company, New York, to Vf 

\i'g nee<l des<;riptiaii. It is especially recommenftid to young ladies' schools and ci'g 

W colleges. (189.-..) Vf 

\»> —'- M> 

\\f THE CABINET MINISTER. | i„^-fv^!'.V^l!l[,/^^„„.2 K\f 

k|^ ' and nine temale characters. ^|^ 

Mr Costumes, mo<lern society : scenery, three interiors. A very amusing piece, iu- Mr 

\k'i g^"i<^*^^ ••' ^^^'''^t'u^Hioij, and brilliant in dialogue. (1892.) ^ ^k^ 

^'^ DA'N'nV "Dine I ^ Farce in Three Acts. By Arthtr W. Pixero. \f/ 

^1^ x^rxx^i-^ i x^xv^a^^.^ Seven male, four female characters. Costumes, mod- ^ij 

Mr ' ern ; scenery, two interiors. This very amusing piece \ff 

wk'i ^^^^ another success in the New York and Boston theatres, and has been ex- ^|^ 

Mr tensively played from manuscript by amateurs, for whom it is in every respect Mr 

\k'g suited. It provides an unusual number of capital character parts, is very funny, Ck'g 

Mr and an excellent acting piece. Plays two hours and a half. (1893.) ' Mr 

^i'S THF T-TORRV HOR^F I a Comedy in Three Acts. By Arthur ^k'g 

W A"^ nyjr^DX nVjr^^n* w. Pinkro. Ten male, five female char- Mf 



si'; 

•!' T AnV ROTTIMTTTJTTT I ^ P^^v n Four Acts. By ARTHUR W. ?Jf 

\iy l^l\l^Z OV-^UiN lUr^Jl^* PiNERO. Eight male and seven female char- \i/ 

.K acters. Costumes, modern ; scenery, four ^K 

SiJ interiors, not easy. A play of powerful sympathetic int*^r*^st, i little soinbre in \fi 

*r kev. but not unrelieved bv humorous tonchfts. (\9S¥l.i Mr 

^^■^■^■^^^^^■^■^■^■^-^■^■^■^■^.^•^•^••^•^•^^^{ 



■' acters. Scenery, two interiors and an ex- 
terior : costumes, modern. This piece is best known in this country through the 

admirable performance of Mr. John Hare, who produced it in all the principal ^mg 

cities. Its story presents a clever satire of false philanthropy, and is full of Mr 

interest and humor. Well adapted for amateurs, by whom it has been success- ^A^ 

fully acted. Plays two hours and a half. (1892.) y^f 

T AnV ROTTIMTTTJTTT I ^ P^^v n Four Acts. By ARTHUR W 
x^r%j^ 1. ijvy^^i^ X JJ. VJi^* I pixERO. Eight m'^i'» «»"^ c"^'"^" ^'»»«"'""*^<>'' 

' acters. Costumt 

interiors, not easy. A play of powerful sympathetic 
key, but not unrelieved by humorous touches. (1892. 



A Political Pull 



A Comedietta in One Act 



r 
By JOHN JASPER JACKSON 



BOSTON 

WALTER H. BAKER & CO 

1900 



jf COPIES HblCti^i^ 

Qffted of tll§ 

MAY 5 -1900 

Re(r|«t«r of Cepyrtgktib 



.61433 

A Political Pull 



CHARACTERS 

John Curtis, in politics, 

Patrick McManus, also in politics. 

Jack Wilmot, desirous of being in politics, 

Kate Snowden, interested in a politician, 

Ruth Ashton, exhibiting like interest. 

Maid. 



COSTUMES MODERN, 




Copyright, 1900, by Walter H. Baker & Co. 



SECOND COPY, 



Q 



A Political Pull. 



SCENE. — Drawing-room of Mrs. Snowden's house. Do^rs 
R. and L., hung with curtains ; windows at back. Very 
well furnished, piano, S7nall tables, antique chairs, etc. 
Jack seated in front of piano, and Ruth on sofa. 

Jack. I'll bet you aunt gets him. 

Ruth. Huh, that's all you know about it. He's dead in 
love with sister. 

Jack. He is, is he? Well, he sat out three dances with 
aunt at the ball last night. 

Ruth. I know he did. She got him in a corner of the 
conservatory, between a prickly pear and a century plant, sat 
herself in front of him, and every time he tried to escape so 
many stickers ran into him, that when he got out he looked as 
though he had the measles. 

Jack. Well, do you know what the fellows at the club say ? 
That the only way he can get away from your sister is to die, 
for she'll get him, if he stays above ground. 

Ruth. Talk of the spiteful gossip of women. Why, last 
week at the Smiths' dinner party your aunt bribed the maid to 
change the dinner cards, so that she would sit along side of 
him. 

Jack. That's a deliberate — {Turns aroimd and bafigs 
on piano. Ruth reads book. Turning round. ^ I hope aunt 
gets him anyway. Your sister has had two already. 

Ruth. A fool and a minister. Mr. Curtis having some 
sense and a little wickedness, it will just make one fair man, 
which is about the proper ratio. An allowance of three men 
to one woman would make up for the stupidity women have to 
endure. 

Jack. Mr. Curtis knows more than any ten women that ever 
lived. He's the smartest fellow and brightest politician in this 
town. If I could talk like he can, I'd be president of the 
United States. 






4 A POLITICAL PULL. 

Ruth. Why don't you try the presidency? 1 lhh:k you've 
tried everything else. 

Jack. And whose fault is it? To please you 1 Avent in for 
art. I drew and daubed and scraped, and got myself covered 
with paint, and wore coats out at the elbow and trousers frayed 
at the edges, and what was the result? You laughed at m} 
landscapes, said my portraits were libels, and cut me on the 
street because I looked like a tramp. 

Ruth. If you'd only been an *^old master" I'd have wor- 
shipped you, and I'm sure I've always kept that queer, lumpy 
cow you painted for me. 

Jack. And then, when you had the Paderevvski craze, I let 
my hair grow, and banged on the piano until there wasn't a 
sound key in it, and the family threatened to turn me out, and 
all the neighbors moved, and then, when I'd come and play for 
you, I'd work till I'd melt down my collar, and turn round, 
and find you'd flown. 

Ruth. I tried to stay, Jack, I really did ; but even your 
hair didn't give you a musical look ; people only took you for 
a football player. It wouldn't have mattered if I hadn't been 
so fond of music. 

Jack. That's right. Rub it in. But I won't stand it. I'll 
give up women, and go in for politics. I'll go see Mr. Curtis, 
and I'll marry him to aunt, if I have to chloroform him, and 
I'll be his private secretary, and with aunt's money and his 
brains and my — my — well, and me, we'll sweep the city. 

Ruth. I wish you would. I'm sure it needs it. 

Jack. Oh, you needn't laugh ; when the cares of the nation 
have weighted me down, and the fate of empires has made 
creases in my brow, you can think of me eternally regarding 
you with scorn. • IJSxi'f. 

Ruth. I wish he would do something real startling, but I 
suppose he will be back to-morrow. If he were only like Mr. 
Curtis, I'd adore him. Mr. Curtis is the dearest man I know; 
as if he'd marry that old frump of an aunt of Jack's. Why, 
last night at the ball, just as we were having the loveliest time, 
she bore down on us with a determination that meant business. 
He gave one look at her, turned, and hissed in my ear, *^If 
you desert me now, you are no gentleman." '* Never, never, 
will I desert Mr. Micawber," said I, and I rushed forward and 
embraced her with an enthusiasm worthy of a better cause. 
She hesitated and was lost, for he slipped through the conserv- 
atory door, and was safe under Kate's protecting wing before 



A POLITICAL PULL. 



she could turn round. If Kate don't marry him, I'll hate her. 
Jack says he's awful poor, and that he needs money in the 
campaign, and Kate has more than she knows what to do with. 

Enter Kate. 

Kate. Ruth, what have you done to Jack this time? I 
met him in the hall, and he bade me good-bye as though he 
were starting for the Arctic regions. 

Ruth. Nothing. Jack says Mr. Curtis will marry his aunt, 
and I say that rather than see him sacrificed in that way, I'll 
marry him myself. 

Kate {laughing). And poor Jack wa^ naturally indignant 
both on his aunt's account and his own. ' 

Ruth. I'm sure I might do worse. 

Kate. It's extremely probable. 

Ruth. But I don't think I shall take him. I fear he might 
become president, and I haven't enough dignity for the first 
lady of the land. It's more in your line, Katie, my dear. I'd 
think it over, if I were you. \^Exit. 

Kate. The little minx. I wonder if she guesses that I 
have been ** thinking it over " r9,ther seriously of late. 

Enter Maid. 

Maid. Mr. Patrick McManus to see you, Mrs. Snowden. 
Kate. Show him right in here. 

Enter Mr. McManus. 

Kate. Mr. McManus, won't you sit down? I want to 
have quite a long talk with you. 

McManus. And it's plased and honored I am ; and the 
longer the talk, the better honored and plased I'll be. 

Kate. You must have been surprised to get my note asking 
you to call, but I think you can give me some information I 
want, and I have heard Mr. Curtis speak of you so often that I 
quite felt as though I knew you. 

McM. And is it a frind of Mr. Curtis you are? A foine 
mon is Mr. Curtis, and a foine mon was his father before him. 
Mony's the pair of shoes I've cobbled for the father, and mony's 
the vote I've made the byes put in for the son. 

Kate. That's just what I wanted to see you about, Mr. 
McManus. I'm so anxious to see Mr. Curtis elected. Won't 
you tell me all about it ? Will he win ? 

McM. Will he win ? Will a cat drink milk ? Av course 






A POLITICAL PULL. 

he'll win. As I said to the byes, here's a foine young mon 
that I've known since he was knee high to a duck, who used to 
come in as plisint and soshuble like and stand alongside of me 
at me wurk — but perhaps he may have mintioned it to ye ? 

Kate. Of course he has. He's told me all about how his 
father would never have a shoe from any one else, and how he 
used to go down to see you, and how you taught him his first 
politics. 

McM. And would you think of that ? Him telling all that 
to the likes of you. To be sure I taught him all his politics. 
Says I, ** Niver go back on the byes, and the byes 'ill niver go 
back on you, and all your talk about honest government and 
sich stuff 'ill niver hurt you a mite," says I. And iver since I 
retired from shoemakin' into politics, I've run his campaigns, 
and they've niver downed us yit, and this time we'll swape the 
distric' if — if 

Kate. If — what? 

McM. Well, mam, ye see, it's this way. We stand for 
honist governmint and reform and all that, and the trouble 
with thim honist governmint fellows is that they don't come up 
with the stuff. 

Kate. The stuff ? 

McM. The stuff. The boodle, you know. They shouts 
very loud for us, but they don't put their hands in their pockets. 
As I says to a fellow who says to me, ** Go in and win " — *' I'm 
wid ye,'* says I to him. ^^ Are ye wid us tin dollars?" says 
he. ^'I'm not;" says I, thin, hot loike, <*If patriotism and 

good governmint ain't worth tin dollars to ye, then be d " 

I begs your pardon, mam. 

Kate. I agree with you, Mr. McManus. I think honest 
government worth paying for, and I want to help pay for it in 
some way that will facilitate Mr. Curtis' s election. 

McM. That's what I say, mam. It's a disgrace to the 
city, mam, as I said whin they appinted a dhirty, low Oitalian 
as meat inspector, whin ivery one in the ward knew that me 
own nephew Dinnis was born ixprisly for the position. Wait 
till Mr. Curtis gits in, ye thieving blagards, says I, and we'll 
make you squirm. Did you say how much you was thinking 
of contributin', mam? 

Kate. Well, if five hundred dollars could be used for le- 
gitimate expenses, I 

McM. If it could be used, mam? Why, I'll git ivery hall 
in the division, and have a truck for him to speak from at ivery 



A POLITICAL PULL. 7 

corner, and run him around to thim in a hack, and put his pic- 
ture in ivery saloon, and have his record printed and sint to 
ivery one in the ward, together with the record of the corrupt 
beggar that has the impertinince to run aginst'him. Ivery bit 
av it as legitimite as the day, and it'll elect him, sure. Sure, 
you're the good angel that'll bring destruction on the low hay- 
thens that are agin us. 

Kate. Oh, I wish I could go to the meetings and hear him 
speak. What is it like ? 

McM. What is it loike ? Oh, you should see him, mam, 
git up and pulverize thim with his grand manner, hammering, 
away at thim, with all the byes shouting. He fairly sends thim 
flying, espeshully whin the byes git a leetle excited. It's a 
foine represintative he'll make, and I'm thinking that perhaps 
you'll be making a foine represintative' s lady. And the ward' 11 
be proud of you, mam. 

Kate. Oh, Mr. McManus, you make me blush. 

McM. Begorra, I'm not too old a mon yet to dance a good 
jig at the widdin', and whin I tell him what you've done 

Kate. But you must promise me you'll not tell him, or not 
one c&nt will you get. 

McM. Not tell him, mam, whin I'm fair burstin* wid it, 
why — why 

Kate \ firmly). Not one word, or not one cent. 

McM. Well, well, give me the money, for if he's eyes in 
his head he won't need that to finish him, for a sweeter, bon- 
nier 

Kate. Fie, fie, Mr. McManus, you must have kissed the 
blarney stone. {^Goes to desk.) Here's the check, and re- 
member, he's not to know where you got it. 

McM. Niver fear, I'll not tell your name. And he's as 
good as elected. I'll go down and start the byes, and remem- 
ber, mam, Pat McManus is to get an invitation to the cere- 
mony. [Exit. 

Kate. If he is elected, I will have had a part in it. I 
will have done something to help him on, on, on in the way 
that he is so surely following. I have watched him now, for 
— how many years, I wonder? A good many more than I 
like to think of now. I remember him first as a boy, talk- 
ing with a boy's enthusiasm and confidence of what he would 
do in the world, and how he would straighten out all its 
tangles. Then came his first real struggle with life; some- 
how, I always seemed to hear of his trials and troubles, and 



8 A POLITICAL PULL. 

could see them forming and steadying him, learning from his 
reverses, gaining a newer and better confidence from his suc- 
cesses until, together, they taught him to do the work set be- 
fore him with all his might — and yet, though he was my best 
of friends, there always seemed to be some other for whom 
I cared more, and I don't think that I ever really appreci- 
ated him until I found that during all the time that he had 
only been one among many to me, I had been something 
more to him. It seemed very strange at first, but now that I 
know how faithful and true he has been through all, and what 
a brave, strong, manly man he is, I am proud and glad that it 
is so. \^Exit. 

(Voice outside, ''Be careful there — look out, don't knock 
against that hatrack. ' ' ) 

Enter Jack, carrying graphophone, followed by Curtis, carry- 
ing package carefully wrapped, 

Curtis. There, put it down. Not on that wretched little 
table, some one will be sure to knock it over — nor that chair ; 
would you have some one sitting down on it and ruining it ? 
— if you put it on the piano, I'll brain you ; don't you know 
some one will open it — put it on the floor; carefully, now, 
don't jar it; there. {Walks around and inspects it; puts 
package alongside of itS) Lucky thing I met you, or I'd never 
have gotten them both here safely. 

Jack. But what is it ? Will it explode ? is it gunpowder ? 

Cur. It's worse than gunpowder. It may cause an explo- 
sion that will knock me flatter than a pancake, and it may — 
but never mind. What's that you've been trying to tell me 
about a private secretary. I can't afford to keep a young imp 
to bother the life out of me. A private secretary is too expen- 
sive a luxury for a poor man like me. 

Jack. But then, you might marry. 

Cur. {Jumping), Marry. See here, young man, who has 
been talking to yoii about my getting married? If your a — 
if any one asks you if I am a marrying man, tell them that 
politics have been the ruination of me ; that I drink, smoke, 
gamble, do everything bad, do you understand ? 

Jack. All right, I'll tell Ruth and Mrs. Snowden. I'll 
draw it strong, for Ruth and I were 

Cur. Oh, you were, were you ? Well, you needn't mind 
dra\Ving it so very strong, for you're young, and it might, cor- 



A POLITICAL PULL. 



rupt your character. What were they saying, eh ? Nothing 
bad, Jack, I hope. 

Jack. Oh, well, not so bad. I stood up for you though, 
I 

Cur. That'll do. I think I'll have to take you for a secre- 
tary. Your talent for prevarication is being wasted out of pol- 
itics. Jack, do you think you could do something for me ? 

Jack. Certainly, sir. I'll begin my duties as secretary. 

Cur. Well, there's no lying needed this time. But you 
know Ruth, Jack. She's a fine girl, eh? you know that well 
enough, you young dog, you. But she's young; young and 
impetuous, and she's always turning up where you never ex- 
pect her. Now, I have something to say to Mrs. Snowden ; 
want to talk to her on business of a strictly private and confi- 
dential nature ; you know how these business affairs are, you 
don't like to be interrupted, and sure as we get started, in will 
pop Ruth. Now, don't you think you might engage her at- 
tention for about half an hour? talk to her in the library, or 
on the back stairs, or out in the garden ; that's a fine arbor 
there. Jack ; so retired ; don't you think you could do it? 

Jack. Why, of course I'll do it for you, and I'm not at all 
sure it won't take some lying, but — {Turns and knocks 
against package. ) 

Cur. Look out ! [Grabs parcel and puts it on table?) 
You wretched boy, would you be the death of me ? 

Jack. What under the sun is it ? 

Cur. Jack, I'm tempted to tell you. I thought at first that 
it was a master stroke of genius, but I'm beginning to weaken, 
I'm beginning to weaken. You're young, but they tell me 
that they are never too young to know about things of this 
kind, and I'm sure I don't know myself. 

Jack. Your secretary is always ready to step into the 
breach, sir. 

Cur. Jack, can I trust you? Can you keep a secret? 

Jack. Can I ? Ruth would give her eye teeth to know 
where I was night before last, but — try me ? 

Cur. I will. But I must begin at the beginning, or you 
won't understand. A good many years ago, when I was only 
a boy, I fell in love. You understand how it is? been there 
yourself, eh ? 

Jack. Yes, bad. 
# Cur. Knew you had, or I'd never have told you. W^ell, 
she was the sweetest, dearest, lov — but you said you'd been 



/j^xv*^:' .>v^ 



A POLITICAL PULL. 

there. Well, I kept trying to get my courage up to the point 
of coming to the point, when what do you think happened ? 

Jack. Married the other fellow ? 

Cur. Yes, by George, a big, slab-sided idiot, who hadn't 
sense enough to come in out of the rain, and who went around 
dearing her and loveying her, and slobbering over her in com- 
pany, in the most sickening manner. Do you know I never 
knew that man to do but one decent thing in his life. 

Jack. What was that ? 

Cur. He died. Died within two years after they were 
married. Just think of it ; married to a woman like that, 
and didn't even have sense enough to keep on living. Well, 
then she was a widow, and there was no question of my getting 
up courage enough to ask her then, but of course I had to wait 
a decent, respectable time ; I had to do that, you know. 

Jack. Of course. 

Cur. And I did. I waited a year and a day. ' I kept a 
pretty sharp lookout, too, and there was nobody bothered her 
much all that time. She was engaged most of the time on 
church work. So I plucked up courage and walked in as bold 
as brass, and who do you think I found there ? 

Jack. Who? 

Cur. The minister, Mr. Snowden. Just engaged that 
morning ; was so glad to have a chance to introduce him to 
her best friend, etc., etc. That was a blow, Jack, that was a 
blow. 

Jack. What did you do ? 

Cur. I pulled myself together, and went in for politics. 

Jack. The other extreme, eh ? 

Cur. Yes, and I was getting along pretty comfortably, not 
bothering much about other matters, when I had a shock. 

Jack. Him ? 

Cur. Yes. He followed number one ; or went the other 
way, I don't know which.. But things were different with me 
by that time. I had learned to take time by the forelock, and 
Jack, the day of the funeral — I was one of the pall bearers — 
after the ceremony, I stepped up and said, '' Kate, nothing, no, 
nothing, can make me forget the respect due to you and your 
position, but, when the proper time comes, I shall have some- 
thing to say to you." She must have understood that, don't 
you think. Jack? 

Jack. Well, I should say so ; if I had your nerve ** 

Cur. Nerve. Jack, I have no more nerve than a field 






mouse. It was desperation gave me courage to do it. And 
now the time has come ; I feel that I must speak, and yet I 
can't say a word, and why, tell me why? 

Jack. I'm sure I don't know. You have a reputation for 
generally saying what you want to say very forcibly. 

Cur. True enough, and if she were only a convention or a 
jury, I am sure I could address her in terms that would move 
a stone. Why, Jack, I have described a Tammany man up 
for alderman in such terms that his best friend voted against 
him, thinking he was the reform candidate, and I have drawn 
a picture of a deceased city treasurer that George Washington 
might have been proud to own as a likeness, but when it comes 
to facing the most beautiful of women and telling her in suita- 
ble terms that my life's happiness depends on her favor, I can't 
do it, and it is the fault of those two confounded, interfering 
imbeciles. 

Jack. Number one and number two. 

Cur. Yes. Just think of it. Can I start in with *^dear 
love " when I know that it was number one's favorite term of 
endearment, or ^^ sweet angel" when I have heard number two 
so allude to her at a parish tea. Why, my most burning and 
passionate declarations leave a bad taste in my mouth when I 
wonder if she is comparing my style with theirs. 

Jack. Sort of feel as though she might be thinking, this is 
very well done, but Harry went down on one knee more grace- 
fully. 

Cur. Yes, or that WiUiam was more select in his choice of 
words. That's just it ; I couldn't face the music, but, Jack, 
I've solved the problem, and there's the solution. 

^KQYi {looking all around'). Where? where? 

Cur. There. There. {Jabbing finger at packages .) The 
most wonderful invention of the age. I tell you, Jack, we are 
living at a wonderful time. Who could have dreamed twenty 
years ago that that wonderful invention would appear just in 
time to save my reason. 

Jack. But what is it ? 

Cur. What is it? {Walking around it.) It's a boon to 
mankind; it's the triumph of the age; well, I can't tell you 
half of what it is, but you read the advertisements • they'll tell 
you. 

Jack. Ivory soap. 

Cur. Nonsense. I'm coming to it ; I'm coming to it. It's 
a graphophone. 



uira 



12 A POLITICAL PULL. 

Jack {disgusted^. A graphophone. All this fuss about a 
graphophone. Why, what can it do for you ? 

Cur. That's my secret, boy. What will it do for me? 
Lay the shades of the departed for me. That's what it will do. 
Talk for me. Don't you understand ? I locked myself in my 
room ; no one there to laugh at me ; to know whether any one 
had ever said the same thing before ; no small sister to come 
bouncing in to interrupt me \ no dazzling presence to over- 
whelm me suddenly, and make me stutter and stammer like an 
ass of a boy of twenty-one. No offence, no offence, Jack, you 
know. But just think of the magnificence of it. I said my 
say without a tremor, as brave as a lion, and when I got through, 
were my words wasted on the desert air ? No, sir ; there they 
were {picking up package) and here they are, hard and fast. 

Jack. The cylinder. Hurrah, put her on, and let's hear 
her. 

Cur. No, that part is not meant for you to hear, Jack. 
There is only one person in the world that I'd be willing to 
have hear that, and I won't be around when she does. Don't 
you see, that's another beauty of it. It can say it in my voice 
but without being embarrassed or thinking of numbers one and 
two, and it w^on't mind if she laughs at it for being an old 
fool. You don't think she'll laugh at it, Jack, do you? . 

Jack. Well, I don't know. It's rather queer. 

Cur. That's just it. That's why I told you. It is rather 
queer, isn't it? Better throw the thing out, eh? I'm sure 
she'll laugh at it. 

Enter Kate. 

Kate. What is it that we are to laugh at? 

Cur. a joke I was telling Jack, ha, ha, very funny. Jack, 
ha, ha, wasn't it, Jack? {Aside to ]ack, pointing to graph- 
ophone,) Get it out. Get it out. 

Kate. Isn't it funny enough for three? 

Cur. No, not near funny enough. In fact, it's the worst 
joke I ever heard. What do you mean by telling such a poor 
joke, Jack? {Aside.) Get it out, get it out, I say, or she'll 
start it going while I'm here. 

(]ack picks it up and starts for door.) 

Kate. What's that you have there, Jack ? 

Cur. Oh, it's nothing, nothing at all, just a little present 



A POLITICAL PULL. 1 3 

Jack's brought for Ruth. Take it to her, Jack, take it to her. 
(jExtf Jack.) Nice boy, Jack; always doing something nice 
Hke that. 

Kate. But what was it ? 

Cur. What was it? I don't know. How should I know? 
But it must be very nice, or Jack wouldn't have brought it. 

Kate. And there is something else on the table. 

Cur. Don't touch it. It's Jack's ; he wouldn't like it, 
you know. I'll give it to him. {^Calling.) Here, Jack, Jack, 
you rascal, come here. It's very careless of you to leave 
things lying around in this way. (Jack comes to door. 
Curtis crosses over with package watching Kate. She turns 
away. He shoves package under chair, and makes violent mo- 
tions for Jack to go, then grabs him ; aside to Jack.) Don't 
forget to keep Ruth out. (Pushes him out ; aloud.) Don't do 
it again. (Comes down.) And that boy wants to be my pri- 
vate secretary. Wants to get into politics, he says. Hum, 
looks as though I might have to get out of them after the first 
Tuesday in November. 

Kate. Don't say that. I'm sure you'll be elected, and it's 
the very thing I want to talk to you about. 

Cur. You ought to talk to McManus. He can tell you 
more than I can. If I am elected, it .will be due to him. 

Kate. Oh, I wish I could help. (They sit on sofa.) It's 
such a grand thing to be making a brave uphill fight such as 
yours, for good government and right and honesty. To be a 
woman and have to sit with your hands folded, and just watch, 
is maddening. 

Cur. Not help. Nonsense. They tell me that I made the 
best speech I ever made in my life last night ; and why ? be- 
cause I'd just left you, and I was heartened and strengthened by 
your sympathy and enthusiasm for good schools and good 
water and -good government and everything good. You are 
the greatest campaign speaker I know. After half an hour's 
talk with you I'm so sure of the innate good of humanity that 
I even expect common councilmen to be honest. 

Kate. I know you are laughing at me. But isn't there 

omething I can really do? I'm so full of energy and so proud 

;f knowing such a great man, that I would be glad to stand on 

a corner and distribute circulars dilating on your many virtues. 

Why, I brag about you to all my friends. 

Cur. Kate, Kate, Vm ashamed of you ; to poke fun at a 
poor, defenceless fellow who has thrown himself on your mercy. 






>LITICAL PULL.* ' 



Kate. But I'm not altogether in fun, John. I am proud 
of you and of your work. 

Cur. Are you, Kate, are you ? Do you really mean it ? 
If you only knew what that meant to me, you wouldn't joke 
about it. 

Kate. Well, then, I won't. I do mean it, and I want you 
to let me prove it by doing something for your work. I want 
to contribute five hundred dollars to the campaign fund. 

Cur. Kate, I'm sorry, but I can't do it. I tell you frankly, 
it would be a help ; you know I'm not rich, but I can't let my 
friends pay my bills. I am proud and glad to say that I have 
friends who would let me have all I need for the asking ; and, 
in fact, it has been offered to me before, without the asking, 
but from a source that made it impossible for me to accept. 

Kate. I suppose you think it would have been looked on 
as a bribe. 

Cur. Well, something of that kind. {Aside?) - 1 would 
probably have been uncle to Jack by this time if I had taken it 
from her. 

Kate. But in taking it from me, there would be nothing 
of the kind. Come. You needn't even see it; I'll send it to 
McManus. 

Cur. Get thee behind me, Satan. No, .no, it can't be 
done, Kate. But don't think that I don't appreciate it. I've 
always known that no man ever had a better, truer, dearer 
friend than you have been to me. Why, for years, every 
thought 

Enter Jack and Ruth quickly. 

Ruth. Mr. Curtis, here's a letter for you, marked im- 
portant. 

Jack {aside). I did my best, but I couldn't hold her in 
another minute. 

Ruth. And Mr. Curtis, Jack says you have the records for 
the graphophone. Where are they? 

Cur. They're on the road. Never fear, they'll get here. 
A dozen good ones. ^'Ta ra ra boom de ay" and *' A Hot 
Time," etc. {Aside.) Another ten dollars that might have 
gone for campaign expenses. I'll break that, boy's neck. 
( Opens letter. ) 

Kate {to Ruth). If you don't take Jack out of here this 
instant, miss, I'll put you on bread and water for a week. 

Ruth {tossing her head). Come on, Jack, I guess we're 



A POLITICAL PULL. 1 5 

not wanted around here. Kate's too much taken up with 
politics. \^Extt with Jack. 

Cur. (reads letter and crushes it up in hand ; aside'). That 
confounded aunt of Jack's has sent the money she offered me, 
to McManus. 

Kate {aside), I wonder if it is from Mr. McManus ; I'm 
afraid he'll be dreadfully angry about the five hundred dollars. 
{Aloud,) I hope your letter didn't contain bad news. You 
don't seem pleased. 

Cur. Oh, but I am. At least, I should be ; McManus says 
I'm as good as elected. 

Kate. I'm so glad. What has happened ? 

Cur. Oh, Mac has gotten some money, and hired halls 
and brass bands and things, and is making things rotate gen- 
erally. 

Kate {cautiously). He doesn't say where he got it, does 
he? 

Cur. Of course not. Of course not. Why should he? 
there's no reason he should. {Aside.) When Kate finds out 
that it was that woman's money elected me, I'm done for. 

Kate {aside). He might at least look as though he were 
glad he had it. {Aloud,) Don't give any idea who it was? 

Cur. Well, not much. He says it was an angel. {Aside,) 
No hopes of keeping it dark ; it's probably^ all over the ward 
by this time. 

Kate. Well, I must say, you don't seem very enthusiastic. 
Don't you think you might at least say you are obliged to her ? 

Cur. That's just like a woman. To think all angels must 
be females. How do you know it's not a male angel ? Any- 
way, I wish she had gone on attending to her heavenly affairs, 
and left terrestrial ones to take care of themselves. 

Kate {getting angry), I'm disappointed in you, John. 
How ungrateful you are. She was trying to do you a favor. 

Cur. {aside). Good gracious, she knows all about it. I 
believe the old vixen must have told her she was going to send 
it. {Aloud,) That's the way with these well meaning people, 
they're always presuming, and 

Kate. Presuming. John Curtis, let me tell you that if the 
person who sent it hadn't thought that you would be glad to 
take it from her, and wanted to help you, which is more than 
you deserve, she'd never have thought of sending it. 

Cur. (^^/^<f). I knew she knew it. No wonder she's angry 
after I refused her money. {Aloud.) But I tell you I gave 



•^ 



1 6 A POLITICAL PULL. 

her no reason to think I would take it from her> Do you mean 
to tell me that after what I said to you about it, any one in 
their sane senses could think that I would accept their money ? 

Kate {Jialf crying). Well, I hope no one will ever try to 
do anything for you again as long as you live, and I hate you, 
and I'll never speak to you again. \^Exit. 

Cur. That settles it. A nice mess I've made of things. 
Refused downright to take Kate's money, and now she believes 
that I encouraged that — angel, as Mac says, to send it to me. 
And I've got to be grateful for it. No, I'll be hanged if I will. 
I'll go out and get five hundred dollars, if I have to rob a bank 
or pawn my campaign badges, and I'll pay it back ; and then, 
I'll take it out on the ward. I'll go down there and raise such 
particular cain that they will think Bill Bryan or Sockless Jerry 
Simpson has struck town. Yes, ' I'm done with women. I 
don't understand them. Now why should Kate want me to be 
grateful to another woman, anyhow? Well, politics are the 
thing, and I understand Mac, anyhow. If I can't speak to 
her, I'll make her hear of me. I'll make a name for myself 
that— that — confound the name, what do I care for any name, 
unless it's her name. \_Exit. 

Enter Jack and Ruth. 

Ruth. I wonder why Mr. Curtis left so suddenly. I 
wanted to ask him about those things for the graphophone. 

Jack. It's my private opinion that you'll get those records 
when the cows come home. {Goes over and looks under 
chair,) By Jupiter, he's left it. 

Ruth. What ? 

Jack. His proposal. ( Unwraps it. ) 

Ruth. Jack, it isn't. Honor bright? Let's look at it. 

Jack. But I say, something must be done. He hasn't 
given it to her. His courage must have failed at the last 
minute. It's a shame. 

Ruth. Jack, our finding it is a dispensation of providence. 
We'll do it for him. Quick, get the machine. {They get it 
and put record on.) There, now to send sister in to hear it. 

Jack. I wonder what he says. Don't you think we might 
just start it? 

Ruth. Jack, I'm ashamed of you. Not one word. But, 
oh, I'm afraid to look at it, for fear I should. Quick, quick, 
let's take ourselves out of the way of temptation. I don't 
know how long my virtue will hold out. You carry it into 



the next room, so no one will interrupt her, and I'll call her. 
But remember, I'm watching you. (Jack carries graphophone 
out, and she goes to other door and calls. ^ Kate, Kate. 
( Runs quickly out of other door and brings Jack in by his 
ear.) 

Enter Kate. 

Ruth. Kate, there's a surprise for you in the next room. 

Jack. -It's altogether the jolliest thing I ever heard. 
(^Aside.) I'm a villain to go back on aunt in this way. 

Ruth. Do hurry and hear it, Kate. 

Jack. And we'll stay outside and watch. 

Ruth. No one will come. You just turn the button, you 
know. 

Jack. It's on the table, and we don't know anything about 
it, you know. {Both run off.) 

Kate. What are those children up to now? Some joke 
about their graphophone, I suppose. Just at present I can't say 
I feel much like joking. Poor John. I was cross with him, 
but then he deserved it. To speak so about me. To be sure 
he didn't know it was me, but he ought to have guessed, and 
he was very rude. And I'll be very severe with him, when he 
comes back — when he comes back ; but if he doesn't come ; 
of course, he'll come. It would be absurd of him not to come 
—but perhaps I'd better not be too severe. 

(Jack and Ruth poke their heads through doorway,) 

Ruth. Not gone yet, sister ? 

Jack. Really, it's too good to keep, Mrs. Snowden. 

Kate. Yes, yes, I'm going. {Heads withdrawn ; rising.) 
Blessed children ; all their worries and troubles are ahead of 
them. Oh, deary me; no, no, I don't think I'll be really 
hard on John — when he comes back to me. \_Exit, 

{Heads poked out again.) 

Jack. Has she gone ? 

Ruth. Yes ; come right away. Jack ; we might hear some- 
thing, and it would be downright wicked. {Heads disappear.) 

Enter Curtis, hurriedly. 

jCuR. By George, I'm all in a cold perspiration. {During 
speech looks all over room, under chairs, tables, etc.) I'd 
gone almost a mile before I thought of it, and the rate at 
which I came back marks me as a suspicious character for life. 



^ --ifr.-: i-i,: - 



■V*-;^--^^ 



1 8 A POLITICAL PULL. 

(^Looks under chair, ^ I'd swear I put it under that chair. 
{Searches further.^ At 19th Street, I was sure a policeman 
would stop me. {Peers back of piano.') If he had, I'd have 
knocked him down. Ah, there it is. No, it's gone. (Sinks 
into chair,) Well, that's the last straw. I suppose it's in the 
kitchen, being ground out before the butler, or Ruth is ex- 
hibiting it before a select circle of friends ; or Jack — Jack 
knew, he may have hidden it in the next room. I wonder if 
there is any one there to prevent my looking for it. {Cau- 
tiously peeps through curtain.) Kate, by Jove, and looking as 
bonny as a picture. How could I ever expect such a woman 
to love me? I'll go down on my knees and beg her pardon ; 
call myself a brute, a beast, and abuse myself so, that in very 
decency she'll have to take my part. Dear girl, she can't stop 
my loving her, even if she won't let me cherish and protect 
her. I wonder what she's doing. {Looks.) What? What's 
that in front of her ? the graphophone, with the record on it. 
Stop her. Stop her, somebody ; stop her, quick ; shall I — no, 
let her hear it; I'm not ashamed of it. It will show her that 
she is all the world to me, and then she will understand how I 
felt about the money. {Looks again, and then draws back.) 
Have I the right ? Yes, I think a man certainly has the right 
to be present at his own proposal. There, it starts; ah, I 
know so well what it is saying — Kate, there is something that I 
have been longing to say to you for years; that has been in 
my heart since boyhood. Will she laugh at it, I wonder ? Or 
be angry? Why, she's on her knees in front of it ; listening 
as though she cared. It can't be true. Oh, if I only knew 
how far it had gotten. I can't endure it, to let a soulless ma- 
chine go on with its endless grinding, when I am longing to be 
with her, pouring out the tenderness and devotion that fills my 
heart, as I know I can now. {Tears aside curtain.) Kate, 
Kate, don't listen to that ; listen to me. \^Exit. 

(Jack's and Ruth's heads appear again.) 

Ruth. Jack, I'm sure I heard some one. 

Jack. Nonsense. It was just my heart beating, don't you 
hear it, pit-a-pat, pit-a-pat. {They come in.) Ruth, do you 
know, I feel real guilty about going back on aunt in this way. 

Ruth. Don't worry. She knows that there are as good 
fish in the sea as have ever been caught, and she's fond of fish- 
ing. I wonder if Kate has heard it all yet? 

Jack. I don't knov/, and I don't care. I know something 



;J^^f^^^^3r^ 



A POLITICAL PULL. 1 9 

better than listening to a dead, heartless graphophone. {Ar- 
ranges two chairs with their backs to the audience,^ There, 
you come over here, and sit right close, and I'll tell you all 
about my political career. ( They sit.') 

Ruth (with a sigh of contentment^. Jack, do you know, I 
don't really mind you're not being artistic, for you're such a 
nice boy. Jack. 

Enter Curtis with his arm around Kate. 

Cur. And when I'm elected, we'll go to Washington, and 
you will outshine them all. 

Kate. And you've forgiven me for being so horrid to you. 
Cur. Horrid ! Why, Kate, you're the dear 

(Jack's and Ruth's heads pop up over back of chairs.) 

Jack. A-hem ! 

Ruth. We're here, sister. 

Cur. {laughing). You blessed children, you don't think 
we 7nind you, do you ? Why, Paradise is just full of such 
cherubs as you. 

Jack {to Ruth). Hum ! Both departeds must be having 
a warm time, as I don't see any place for them in Paradise. 

Enter McManus, highly excited. 

McM. Here they come, mam. Here they come, Mr. 

Curtis. {Rushes to window.) 

Tack ) 

Ruth \ ^^^ ^ What ? ( Ricsh to other wiitdoiv.) 

McM. The byes. Don't you hear the band ? {Band and 
co7nmotion heard outside. ) Hear them shout. ( Coming down. ) 
Didn't I tell you things would begin to come our way, mam? 

Kate. But you haven't told them that I 

McM. Niver fear. Divil a w^ord. I just marched them 
around to^ escort Mr. Curtis to the meeting, and to see your 
pretty face. 

Ruth {at window with Jack). Look at the torches. 

Jack. And the high hats. 

Ruth. And the sashes. 

Jack. They're calling for you, Mr. Curtis. 

McM. Just listen to the babies. {Drags Curtis to other 
window. Swings hat around head.) Hurra'! Hurra'! 

Cur. Come look at them, Kate. {Bows and waves hand 
at window.) 



v-:-v-t^-A.^:^»?^l>a^ 




20 A POLITICAL PULL. 

McM. {rushes back and leads Kate to window). Sure, all 
the byes are fond of a pretty face. {Comes down again.) 
Bless her bright eyes, a weddiii' would be worth fifty votes. 

Ruth. Oh, they're starting. 

McM. What? {Rushing out.) Stop! Whoa! Hi! 

[ Exit, 

Jack. Look at the old duck with the wooden leg, dancing 
a can-can. 

Ruth. Look. Look at him trying to set fire to the cross- 
eyed man's whiskers. 

Cur. There's Mac. 

Kate. Why, he's making them an oration. 

Cur. They're all looking at you, Kate. They're cheering 
you. Lord only knows what he's told them. 

Kate. I don't care. I'll love them all, if they'll only 
elect you. 

Ruth. Just look at him. Look at him. He's settled the 
wooden legged one. He's getting them into line. See him bang 
them around. {Throwing herself on Jack.) Oh, I could 
just hug him. 

Jack. Here. Hold on ; I want to be embraced for myself 
alone. Not for McManus. 

Enter McManus. 

McM. {rushing in). Come along, Mr. Curtis. Come 
along, young mon. You look as though you had a good pair 
of lungs. 

Cur. All ready. Good-bye, Kate, good-bye. I'll be 
back. 

Kate. Soon, please ? And, oh, speak for me, too. 

Jack. Secretary's ready, sir. 

Ruth. Good-bye, Jack, good-bye. Look out for the 
wooden legged man. 

McM. There goes the band. Come on. 

All. Good-bye. Good-bye. \All exeunt. 

(Kate and Ruth rush to windows. Loud cheer from 
street. They wave handkerchiefs. Band grows fainter ; 
they turn toward each other. ) 



CURTAIN. 



JWT ??■'?- -i--* 



NEW PLAYS. 



Nan, the Mascotte. 

A Comedy -Drama in Four Acts. 

By GILBERT PATTEN. 

Nine male, four female characters. Scenery not difficult; costumes 
modern. An up-to-date American melodrama, full of action and interest. 
This piece was originally produced by professional talent under the title 
of " Men of Millions," and was a great success. It has been played from 
manuscript by amateurs for several seasons, but is now printed for the 
first time. Its characters are all effective and nearly all of fairly even 
prominence. Soubrette, strong lead, strong "heavy," "hayseed" and 
" dude " low comedy, and " old maid." Three men and one woman may 
"double," thus reducing cast by- four people. Strongly recommended. 
Plays two and a half hours. Permission to perform must be obtained 
from the author. 

Price 25 Cents. 



SYNOPSIS: 

ACT I.— Caleb's home. Social ambitions. " Borrying." Nan, the 
mascotte. The cut finger. " If mother should see us." Laying down the 
law. An unwelcome return. A bitter disappointment. Her husband. 
" You have not seen the last of me ! " Deacon Smartweed and the " wid- 
der." The see-saw. The accident. " What'll the parson say?" An es- 
trangement. Flood's return. The meeting. "That blow is enough." The 
murder. 

ACT II. — In New York. Lawyer vs. doctor. The speculator. The life 
of Wall street. The mascotte. The mysterious chamber. " The man is 
mad." Nan and the dude. The real man. In society. Prompting Cupid. 
A " duck " and a " quack." Eavesdropping. An understanding. A finan- 
cial crisis. The wolf in sheep's clothing. The cat's out. Breakers 
ahead. 

ACT III.— The Deacon's visit. A changed wife. Golden Queen stock. 
The mascotte's warning. The dude and the deacon. " Dunno's I ever saw 
anythin' like that before." The lantern. " Some garden sass for Sister 
Baldwin." The red Indian. The hour of trouble. Sacrificing her child. 
The black door. The big chief and the butler. A fateful letter. His re- 
venge. A fearful price. A ruined man. Nan to the rescue. Saved. 

ACT IV. — Back in the country. A dude sportsman. "A weglar 
wuffian." A trial shot. " Gweat Motheth ! the hat wath on a manth head." 
The Deacon's experiences. Frackett's goat. The widow's rescue. Butted 
into matrimony. Flood's escape. A false report. A blessing in disguise. 
The secret of the room. Jimsy again. Hunted down. The arrest. Nan's 
enlightenment. For better or for worse. " What'll the parson say ? " 



An Awkward Squad. 

A Sketch in One Scene. 

By ROBERT fl. BAKER. 

Eight male characters, two very subordinate. A very rapid and viva- 
cious fifteen-minute sketch, suitable for vaudeville purposes, turning 
upon a timely military subject. Irish, Dutch, "hayseed" and "dude'* 
comedy parts. All right. 

Price . 15 Cents. 



Senf, postpaid, on receipt of price, by 

BAKER, 5 HAMILTON PLACE, BOSTON, MASa 



I .■-Tf.va-.', j'^,::g 



^.=«;-::^*'?;i^=%f»55^?^^^ii| 




A NEW CANTATA FOR CHILDREN 



A DREAM OF THE FL0WER5 

Consisting of Songs, Choruses, Recitations, 
Dialogues, Etc. 

By NELLIE E- CASE. 

For fourteen little girls, one little boy and chorus. Costumes fanciful 
but easily gotten up. No scenery needed, though it can be employed to 
advantage. This cantata primarily celebrates May Day, introducing a 
May-pole Dance, but it is good and not unsuitable for performance at 
any season. It is published complete with music, pretty and very easy. 
This piece is the work of an experienced teacher, familiar with the needs 
and limitations of children, and is offered with confidence. 

Price 25 Cents. 



A NEW EDITION, 



BALLAD5 IN BLACK. 

A Series of Readings to be Produced as Shadow 

Pantomimes. 

With full directions for representation. Illustrated with fifty full- 
X>age drawings in silhouette, by J. F. Goodrich. 

CONTENTS : 

In Pawn. A Shadow Pantomime in Four Acts and a Prologue; eight 
illustrations. 

Drink. A Temperance Shadow Pantomime; eight illustrations. 

Orpheus, the Organ-Grinder. A Musical Shadow Pantomime; six 
illustrations. 

Anonymous. A Nameless Narrative; six illustrations. 

Driggs and his Double. A Pantomime Paradox; eight illustrations. 

Cinderella. A new version of an old story; eight illustrations. 

Price, paper covers ... 50 Cents. 



We have a limited number of these pantomimes, published separately, 
which we can furnish at 15 cents per copy until the edition is exhausted. 
Cinderella is quite out of print and cannot be supplied save in the 60- 
cent book. 



^^^^mm 



TWO NEW COMEDIES. 



CLOVER FARM. 

A Farce Comedy in Three Acts. 

By GILBERT PATTEN. 

Eight male, three female characters, Scenery easy, costumes modern. 
A screaming farce, full of fun and action. The unusual evenness of op- 
portunity that this piece offers to its actors is remarkable. There are, 
literally, no small parts. In its original production, and in subsequent 
performances from the manuscript, it has always been a laughing suc- 
cess. Slippery Gibbs, the burglar, and the Rev. Herbert Goodman, with 
whom he is confounded, are capital parts, and Salamander Sharp, the 
detective, a screamer. Even "the cat" is a strong part. We can fully 
recommend the piece for amateurs or professionals. Plays two and one- 
half hours. Permission to produce must be obtaiived from the author. 

Price 25 Cents. 



SYNOPSIS: 

ACT I.— At Clover Farm. The old cat. A parson incog. The new 
boarder. False whiskers. "What's your little game?" A fair swap. 
The burglar's vacation. Jennie and the Count. A son of Yale. A domes- 
tic breeze. "Here's where I make me bluff." An amateur parson. The 
veiled lady. The female detective. A little scrimmage. A French duel. 
Detective Sharp. " The untired sleuth-hound of the law." A wrong 
steer. The elopement. " It was the cat! " 

ACT II.— At the picnic. The fire-eater takes water. Scarcely a 
suicide. A desperate man. An extempore comedy. "Great Caesar! 
what a scrape! " A double misunderstanding. A bothered burglar. 
"The lynx-eyed ferret of justice." A wrong scent. A humorous alliance. 
Jim and the pie. The tramp. "I can't — I've got my pants off! " The 
murderous Count. Explanations. Forcing her hand. Married by a 
burglar. " The never-beaten detective." The wrong man. 

ACT III. — Sunrise in the barn-yard. On guard. Asleep at his post. 
" You have ruined our plans." A howlin' toothache. A set-back for the 
sleuth-hound. The parson himself again. Highway robbery. The ad- 
vantages of being deaf. " Don't tell me my child is married to a nigger! " 
The last of the Count. "The blow it near killed father." Facing it out. 
Bliss and rapture. Slippery Gibbs. " Bless you, my children, bless you,'* 



A Bachelor's Banquet, 

OR, AN INDIGESTIBLE ROflANCE. 

A Farce in One Act, 

By LEWIS D. HUMPHREY. 

Three male, three female characters. Costumes and scenery simple. 
Printed as originally produced at Radcliffe College, Cambridge. An ex- 
cellent farce of the high class popularized by Mr. Howells, its humor 
abundant but refined, its story vivacious and amusing but entirely sane 
and i>ossible. All parts good. Plays rapidly a full hour. 

Price . 15 Cents. 



Sen^, postpaid^ on receipt of price ^ by 

BAKER, 5 HAMILTON PLACE, BOSTON, MASa 



LATEST PLAYS. 

The Old Maids' Convention. 

AN ENTERTAINMENT IN ONE SCENE. 

By LAURA M. PARSONS. 

Author of "Jerusha Dow's Family Album," "The District 
School at Blueberry Corners," Etc. 



One male, twenty female characters and specialties. Costumes eccen- 
tric; scenery unimportant; can be produced on a platform without any. 
This is an excellent version of a widely popular entertainment which has 
long existed in manuscript, but is now for the first time offered in print. 
It is practically for afl female characters, since Prof. Pinkerton, its one 
man, may be represented by a lady, if desired. "Pinkerton's Electric 
Transform(h)er " is a marvelous invention, whatever the sex of its dis- 
coverer, and is capable of creating great amusement. This entertainment, 
of which it is a feature, is brightly and humorously written, and moves 
along briskly to a laughable conclusion. Lots of good characters and 
opportunity for specialties. A worthy successor to the popular " Prof. 
Baxter's Great Invention." Plays an hour and a half with specialties. 

Price, .... 25 Cents. 

SYNOPSIS. 

Scene.— The Old Maids' Matrimonial Club. The Club in' executive 
session. Quotations. An unpopular sentiment. The Secretary's report. 
The report of the Treasurer. " Candy kisses." The Lookout Committee. 
" Widower Groodhope." A bachelor by the name of Rigby. " I don't care 
if he hasn't a dollar." A few suggestions toward the propagation of 
matrimony. The club in debate. A literary interlude. Prof. Pinkerton's 
advent. A scientific exposition. Testimonials " Before using your 
Transform(h)er I was totally blind, and now I can see my finish." The 
great invention at work. " Blonde or brunette ? " Old maids made new. 
A great success. A difficult case. Somewhat overdone. " The machine 
can make no mistake." A hard problem. " I want to be a man." The Pro- 
fessor phazed but not daunted. " Drink the stuff and pile in." An explosion 
— of laughter. 



POPPING BY PROXY. 

A FARCE IN ONE ACT. 
By O. E. YOUNG. 



Two male, four female characters. Scenery easy, costumes rustic. This 
is a very amusing, if somewhat athletic farce, suitable for the young and 
robust, and likely to be popular among people who rejoice in practical 
joking and high animal spirits. It is distinctly not a drawing-room play, 
but is full of good, broad, boisterous fun, and tells a very entertaining 
story. Plays forty-five minutes. 

Price, .... 15 Cents. 



Sent^ postpaid^ on receipt of price ^ by 

BAKER, 5 HAMILTON PLACE, BOSTON, MASS. 



THF MAr^KTRATF I a Farce in Three Acts. By Art mi n W. '2i 

ir m lViAUi;> 1 J:^.A A II^ I p,j;kro. IVelve male, four female char- h\ 

—————— ~"~^-^ acters. Costumes, modern ; scenery, all •a^ 

interior. The merits of this excellent and amusing piece, one of the most'popu- /|\ 

lar of its author's plays, are well attested hy long an<i repeated runs in the \V 

principal American theatres. Tt is of the highest class of dramatic writing, and /|\ 

is upr()an(msly funny, and at the same time unexceptionable in tone. Its entire •"• 
suitability for amateur performance has been shown by hundreds of such pro- 
ductions from manuscript during the past three years. Plays two hours and 
a half. (1892.) 



THE NOTORIOUS 
MRS. EBBSMITH. 



A Play in Four Acts. By AuTTirR W. 
PiNERO. Eight male and five female char- 
acters. Costumes, modern ; scenery, three 
interiors. This well-known and powerful 
play is not well suited for amateur per- 
formance. It is offered to Mr. Pinero's admirers among the reading public in 
answer to the demand which its wide discussion as an acted play has created. 
(1894.) Also in Cloth, $1.00. 



characters. Scene, a single interior, the 



is 
is 



A Drama in Four Acts. By Arthur W. /I\ 

PiNERO. Eight male and five female charac- * - * 
ters; scenery, all interiors. Tliis is a " prob- 
lem " play continuing the series to which " The 
Profligate " and "The Second Mrs. Tanqueray" 

belong, and while strongly dramatic, and intensely interesting is not suited for ^«w 

amateur performance. It is recommended for Reading Clubs. (1895.) /'j[\ 

XT-TC PPr^TTT inAXT? I A Play in Four Acts. By Arthitr W. Pine- '/.Z 

■■■•"■^ JTJXVyx l^lVJn. X J-.» jj,^^ Seven male and five female characters. #1% 

-■ Scenery, three interiors, rather elaborate ; •.V 

costumes, modern. This is a piece of serious interest, powerfully dramatic in /|\ 

movement, and tragic in its event. An admirable play, but not suited for ama- \v 

teur performance. (1892.) ^1^ 

THF ^rHOOT MT^TRFS^ ( a Farce in Three Acts. ByARTRUR <f4\ 

inr. DV-nWV^l-.lVUOlIVIIOO^ W. Pinero. Klne male, seven te- jli 

' ' male characters. Costumes, mod- wm\ 

em; scenery, three interiors, easily arranged. This ingenious and laughable iiw 

farce was played by Miss Kosina Vokes during her last season in America with rfj 

great success! Its plot is amusing, its action rapid and full of incident, its dia- jfAW 

logue brilliant, and its scheme of character especially rich in quaint and humor- wm\ 

ous types. The Hon. VereQueckett and Peggy are especially strong. The piece ^aw 

is in all respects suitable for amateurs. (1894.) w^fjS 

THE SECOND 
MRS. TANQUERAY. 



f 



^WFFT T AVFfJDFR I ^ Comedy in Three Acts. Bv Arthtr \I/ 
O W liC 1 1^I\ V LLL^l^i:j\.* I YV. Pinero. Seven male and four female ^!v 



igie int 
same for all three acts; costumes, modern and fashionable. This well known 
and popular piece is admirably suited to amateur players, by whom it has been 
often given during the last few years. Its story is strongly sympathetic, and its .*. 
comedy interest abundant and strong. (1893.) %■# 



I 



THK TTWrFS I a comedy in Four Acts. By Arthitr W. Ptnefo. Six 

•'' ■"-^■"■^^* j male and' seven female characters. Scene, a single ele- 

, , , gant interior; costumes, modern and fashionable. An ,.^ 

entertaining piece, of strong dramatic interest and admirable satirical humor. Kmd 

(1892.) ^ W 

THF WFATJTFP CFV I a Comedy in Three Acts. By Arthur jK 

AAXi^ yyc^ru^ JZJK OC.^^ W. Pinero. Eight male and eight female \l/ 

' characters. Costumes, modern : scenery, ^iv 

two interiors, not difficult. This very amusing comedy was a popular feature of %■/ 

the repertoire of Mr. and Mrs. Kendal in this country. It presents a plot of JV, 

strong dramatic interest, and its incidental satire of '" Woman's Rights'* em- Vl/ 

Flovs some admirably humorous characters, and inspires many very clever lines. Tv, 

ts leading characters are unusuallv even in strength and prominence, which M# 

^*- makes it a very satisfactory piece for amateurs. (1894.) vJT 



LIBRftRY OF CONGRESS 



NEW OPERETTAS FOR 




EDITH'S DREAM. 

an ©perrtta Ut €l)iltjrru. 

Words by MARGARET FEZANDIE and EDGAR MORETTE, 
Music by EUGENE FEZANDIE, >• 



Eleven characters, girls ami boys, or all girls, as preferred ; ten or more a<ldi- 
tioiial r'or chorus. Scenery unnecessary; costumes, pretty and fanciful, but 
easily arranged at home. This admirable little piece is printed complete with 
music. It is very tuneful and gracefully inuigined, and is strongly recommended 
for private tlieatri(;als or for schools. It is particularly well suited for the latter 
use, as it deals whimsically with the question of youthful study, inculcating, 
liowever, an excellent moral. 



Price 



35 cents. 



ODD OPERASMEVENTiDE. 

A Collection of Short and Simple Musical 
Entertainments for Children. 



By MRS* G* R BORDMAN, 



Tbis collection provides a simple operetta, a fairy opera, a picturesque motion 
song, a quaint nmsicnl pantomime, a pretty musical sketch, and two original 
humorous recitations for children, complete, with all the music, and full instruc- 
tions for performance. Tbe music is tuneful and simple, and is specially written 
witb tbe tastes and limitations of cbildren in view. The solos are easily learned 
and sung, and all the choruses are written for voices in unison. The collection 
is strongly recommende<l for its simplicity and perfect practicability, Neither 
stage nor scenery is demanded, nor any other requirements tliat cannot be met 
without trouble by tbeequipuient of the ordinary hall or church vestry, and the 
zeal of tlie most economical committee of arraugenients. 



Price 



CONTENTS* 



50 cents. 



A Glimpse of the Brownies, A 

Musical Sketch for Children. Any 
iiuuiber of boys. 

Market Day. A n Operetta for Young 
rcojde. Seven speaking parts and 
chorus. 

^ueen Flora's Day I>reafn, An 

Operetta l«jr Children. Six speak- 
ing parts and chorus. 



The Boating: Party. A Musical 
Sjcetch for Little Children. Thirty 
boys and girls. 

Six TJttle Grandmas. A Musical 
Pj[intomime for very Little Children. 
Six very little girls. 

Jimmy Crow. A Uecitatiou for a 

Little Girl. 

A House In the Moon. A !.>( it i 

tion for a Child. 



